How to make an Italian/American restaurant in Asia:
Step one; actually call it an “Italian” restaurant.
Notice how “Italian Restaurant” label is RIGHT at the tippy top. This is done to distract from the actual name of the restaurant, “Saizeriya”. A quick look at the name brings some suspicion. But heck I’m no linguist expert, it could be legit.
This was my first mistake. (It’s a Japanese restaurant cooking Italian cuisine in Singapore, it’s like the UN on a plate.)
Step two; have Italian themed decorations.
Apparently when Italian cuisine is mentioned all that comes to mind is tomato sauce and angel hair pasta. Who knew?
There was also this annoying looped cheesy classical music playing, you know the one from every mafia-esque movie ever made.
Step three; have Italian words everywhere on the “Grand Menu”.
Oh you were established in 1967, you have such deep roots in Italian history. I remember reading that Leonardo da Vinci used to go to the original Saizeriya for lunch every Tuesday.
Step four; the food.
I guess to anyone who had never been to an actual Italian restaurant, thus you had never seen Italian cooking; you might be fooled by this:
Let me just point out some mistakes.
Egg? Nope not on any Italian dish.
Steak fries? Three whole fries?!? No way.
Protein? Is that bacon I see? Why yes, all Italian dishes actually feature bacon.
Vegetable? Corn. Because that’s where all Italian dishes get their extra special fiber-y taste from.
And how is this all cooked? VERY, very liberally in oil. Basically deep fried in grease.
Mmm, tastes like heart failure.
tylerkellyon 