The most dangerous game of Pictionary.

I’m going to share with you my very own secret method for eating food in Singapore.

I like to call it the “Point and Pray” method of ordering.

That is the general scheme of a menu here in Singapore, above every ordering counter is a lit up wall of pictures and numbers. Every once in a while you may see an actual menu, but even then they all have pictures.

The reason they do this is simple, here in Singapore there are just too many languages floating around here. There are four, that’s right FOUR, national languages in Singapore. And each language has its own type of cuisine that has its own culturally named food. So unless you happen to be lucky and speak the same language as the chef you’re ordering from you almost always end up pointing at a picture.

Except sometimes that might not be enough the chef might ask you a question, which could be about one of a thousand different things. Try as you might to understand him or her it all basically comes down to a flip of a coin, because I can guarantee you will just take a risk and blurt out yes or no without really knowing what you’re agreeing to.

It’s like a game of Russian roulette, except you’re playing with your digestive system. Fortunately, like I said previously, Singaporeans take great pride in making their food so I have never had a bad meal here. Which is surprising because in general the flavours (The fancy side of grammar.) of Singapore tend to be either spicy or face-melting-ly hot.

Oh and have I mentioned there’s always some type of egg in your meal?

That’s what’s for breakfast.

Boom. Singaporean breakfast, served up at Freshly Baked by Le Bijoux.

Check out my review of the place here ‘cause that’s not what this post is about.  Not in particular anyway.

What I intend to talk about is a little different than your traditional blog about food. So let’s see how this goes.

Singaporeans take great pride in their foods, but in a weird way I haven’t seen before. At least in my experience when someone says their culture takes pride in their food, you would normally associate this with a hunched over grandmother working in the kitchen all day serving up massive portions of food for every person who is even remotely connected to the family.

But in Singapore the culture is remarkably almost exclusively an eat-out society. Meaning for breakfast, lunch and dinner the average family has food made elsewhere besides their kitchen. It’s pretty obvious to any observer here in Singapore because every other shop or building is a restaurant and there are so very few grocery stores on the island.

Even when I was looking for room shares, there was a substantial amount of rooms that explicitly stated you aren’t allowed to cook in them.

Going out to eat (Or getting take out, as one of the first things you are asked at the counter of any restaurant is “Eat in? Or take out?”) is a very streamlined process. There are two types of places to eat.

The first is a “hawker” market, where generally there are a bunch of tables and chairs set up inside a large circle of food stations. Here you can go to anyone of these stations, order your food and then go sit down and they will deliver your food to your table. Eat all you want then get up and leave, they clear your table after you leave and the meal itself is generally under $5 SGD. That’s a pretty good freaking deal no matter where you are. And the food is good, actually really good and seeing as at every hawker market there are a ton of shops with a ton of different food items, you’d have to be inept to not find something you find palatable.

The second place to eat is a traditional restaurant, except here outside dining is pretty much standard. Although the restaurants cost a bit more than the hawker markets, you do have the option to eat in aircon. And they generally have smaller portions than the hawker stands do so you can get more than one dish to enjoy a whole bunch of flavors.

I personally have eaten out every day I have been here. (Except that one buffet debacle.) And I have not once had a bad meal, and considering that I really don’t know what I’m ordering 90% of the time that’s a pretty good success rate.