Singapore Public Announcement Thursdays – Round 2!

I hope you all enjoyed last week’s posting and found it amusing. (If not then hopefully you thought it was educational, maybe?) Anyways here is this week’s addition!

This is a sign you can find in pretty much all major MRT stations. It depicts a little girl (Let’s call her Sally.) pointing out that she is too tall to ride the MRT for free.

What I think is weird is that the girl is the one pointing this out. I’m used to the, “You must be this tall to ride xxxxx” that can be found in all of America’s theme parks. And having been a volunteer at a local county fair for more than half my life I know for a fact that no one, and I mean no one, be them parents or children, has voluntarily pointed out being over a height limit (Or age limit) if it would cost them more money. You normally have to trick them somehow, like ask them their birthday or how tall they are (When people are put on the spot, odds are they will slip up).

Here in Singapore I could absolutely see a young Sally about to go through a ticket stall but then turning to her mom and saying, “Mummy, I’m above 0.9m tall. I need a ticket to get in.”

And yes in my mind that child has a very British accent when she speaks.

Such dark humor.

Dark humor, isn’t it? Well I think so.

Let me explain.

I was riding in an elevator in Singapore, when just to the right of the LED floor number sign my eye catches something.

First thing I think is that my mind is playing tricks on me, that my lack of constant submersion in American pop-culture has left me seeing things.

So I do a double take, and move my gaze back to the sign. And even then I do not believe it.

I was in the elevator with two other people, a local and another expat. The expat noticed my current dilemma, and decided to explain. (He was American as well.) What he said is that this is actually a major company in Singapore that engineers and produces elevators. And that many, many other expats have pointed out the obvious connection the name of the company has with a certain film.

For those of you that have been living in a hole (Or at least not anywhere near the US.) the “certain film” I refer to is Schindler’s List, starring a young(er) Liam Neeson. The best way to sum up this movie, without any spoilers, is in one word, holocaust.

So an elevator being branded by a company called “Schindler Lifts” evokes a very queer image. I mean come on, seriously. Move two letters around in the company name and you have one of the darkest heart wrenching movies of 90’s.

Even if this company was named BEFORE the movie became popular (And by popular I mean it won; 7 Academy Awards, 7 BAFTAs, 3 Golden Globes, Listed 8^th on AFI’s 100 Best American Movies of All Time list.) as the CEO there comes a time when you need to say to yourself, “Well damn, time to change our name.”

Liquid Singapore

Curious how to find or get a drink in Singapore to go with your meal?

Bam, right there. This is a hawker center drink vendor, you get the exact same type of drinks at a restaurant but maybe a few other types of beer, set up and ordered exactly like you would order from any other hawker stand.

Luckily ordering drinks is much simpler than ordering a meal. (Refer to my “Point and Pray” philosophy.) As I said drinks are pretty standard here with only four main categories; soda, sour drinks, Milo or Horlicks, beer.

Soda is simple here; it’s the same soda you would get anywhere else in the world. Except maybe by a different name…

That is Singapore’s equivalent to diet coke. They call it light instead of diet, why? Your guess is as good as mine.

Sour drinks are a little harder to understand, but basically the flavors are plum, lime, lemon or some combination of those three. Weird right? But don’t worry these drinks are like swallowing a whole party packet of warheads, the flavors are normally mellowed out by something like cucumber (For lime.) or tea (For lemon.)

Milo and Horlicks. I was confused by these two drinks at first, thinking they were the same thing but with different names in different languages. But apparently Milo is darker in color and Horlicks is lighter.

But don’t be fooled into thinking these are anything special, see that picture above? Put the Nesquik Bunny on the package and it’s the same product. Both are basically malted hot chocolate, costing you more to make them “iced” or to add ice to the drink. (Remember Singapore is HOT, so to freeze anything makes the cost go up ::cough:: Ben & Jerry’s ::cough::)

What meal wouldn’t be complete without beer, even if beer is massively expensive in Singapore it’s still a favorite.

That is Tiger beer, locally brewed and generally the cheapest beer you can find, putting you back only about $6 SGD during the day. (Late at night this price can skyrocket.) You don’t get to see many different brands here however, so the other most common beer I have found is Heineken followed by a Japanese beer called Asahi. (You might remember Asahi from a certain post I made about a stylized version of Astro Boy.)

So there you have it, four kinds of drinks and all you need to know about them.

The most dangerous game of Pictionary.

I’m going to share with you my very own secret method for eating food in Singapore.

I like to call it the “Point and Pray” method of ordering.

That is the general scheme of a menu here in Singapore, above every ordering counter is a lit up wall of pictures and numbers. Every once in a while you may see an actual menu, but even then they all have pictures.

The reason they do this is simple, here in Singapore there are just too many languages floating around here. There are four, that’s right FOUR, national languages in Singapore. And each language has its own type of cuisine that has its own culturally named food. So unless you happen to be lucky and speak the same language as the chef you’re ordering from you almost always end up pointing at a picture.

Except sometimes that might not be enough the chef might ask you a question, which could be about one of a thousand different things. Try as you might to understand him or her it all basically comes down to a flip of a coin, because I can guarantee you will just take a risk and blurt out yes or no without really knowing what you’re agreeing to.

It’s like a game of Russian roulette, except you’re playing with your digestive system. Fortunately, like I said previously, Singaporeans take great pride in making their food so I have never had a bad meal here. Which is surprising because in general the flavours (The fancy side of grammar.) of Singapore tend to be either spicy or face-melting-ly hot.

Oh and have I mentioned there’s always some type of egg in your meal?

Singapore Public Announcement Thursdays!

This is the inaugural post for my newest (And first.) weekly segment on my blog.

So the basic point is that Singapore has a tendency to point out the obvious, sometimes the blatantly obvious.

I had an earlier post that alluded to this phenomenon before, where a cardboard police officer was giving advice to observant customers at a mall. But now that I have been here longer I now realize this is an epidemic of extremely simple public announcements, normally accompanied by a cartoon character.

The above picture is pointing out the obvious; don’t take something that doesn’t belong to you. But it’s the nonchalant delivery of this information that makes it odd to me.

In America a poster providing the same information would say something similar to, “Under penalty of law do not remove personal property other than yours from the premises.” Or “Royce Kids Gym is not responsible for the loss of personal belongings while in use of our facilities.”

To me the way Royce Kids Gym seems to put it makes the act of stealing something like an accident, or if it was done on purpose then an act that is frowned upon and the punishment is going to bed without your diner.

From a country that has on its disembarkation ticket stub, “Warning death for all drug traffickers under Singapore law” this seems like a very lenient warning for the crime of theft.

But then I am reminded that this is a private business most likely run by a Singaporean family, and in Singapore courtesy is a very important virtue. So a demanding or overtly aggressive message just wouldn’t be culturally correct.

This is a country where people actually move over in the subway when other people need to get on and where people will still hold open doors for others (Chivalry isn’t dead, it just moved eastward.)

Oh bug where art thou?

Fun fact time!

Singapore has almost no insects.

It’s true. It’s not something you would notice right way but after a while you begin to wonder why you aren’t being attacked by swarms of flying nuisances.

Let’s break down why Singapore should have a metric shit ton (Yes that is a scientific term.) of insects.

1)      Near the equator. As far as I know every other place on Earth near the equator has insects.

2)      Rain. In Singapore it rains so very, very much. And where there is rain there is collected water, which is baby-making central for mosquitoes.

3)      Large amount of outdoor restaurants. Restaurants mean food garbage, and that means bugs.

4)      Relatively calm weather patterns. Singapore is protected from much of the destructive weather patterns that plague most other island nations due to its geographic position.

5)      Urban area means densely packed humans. Let’s face it humans are walking buffets for the bug populations of the world; we are messy and really easy to sneak up on and take a bite out of.

6)      Singapore remains relatively forested. That’s right forested. Even inside the city there is plenty of natural vegetation either lining the streets or within one of the numerous little parks that seem to be at the end of every street.

Why is it that still, in spite of all the potential for insect-overload, is there an almost eerie absence of insects?

Well one might be the recent campaign by the Singaporean government to combat dengue fever, which has billboards and posters on every street urging people to dump out free standing water.

Another might be the unique construction of Singapore. Instead of having drains into the sewer that are at street level like in the US, Singapore creates drainage ditches that are cement lined about a meter down on the sides of the roads. My best guess would be that these were originally dug to keep the streets water free in the rain, but also have a bonus of moving water off the streets faster preventing bugs from doing-the-dirty in it.

Overall Singapore is also a very regimented and clean place. Not only do they take pride in their restaurant food, but they like to look good too. So in general everything is regulated. All the restaurants need to pass health codes, even the hawker markets on the streets, and every building has codes to adhere to. All of this helps reduce insect invasion.

To be honest after a while you begin to miss the little annoyances.

That’s what’s for breakfast.

Boom. Singaporean breakfast, served up at Freshly Baked by Le Bijoux.

Check out my review of the place here ‘cause that’s not what this post is about.  Not in particular anyway.

What I intend to talk about is a little different than your traditional blog about food. So let’s see how this goes.

Singaporeans take great pride in their foods, but in a weird way I haven’t seen before. At least in my experience when someone says their culture takes pride in their food, you would normally associate this with a hunched over grandmother working in the kitchen all day serving up massive portions of food for every person who is even remotely connected to the family.

But in Singapore the culture is remarkably almost exclusively an eat-out society. Meaning for breakfast, lunch and dinner the average family has food made elsewhere besides their kitchen. It’s pretty obvious to any observer here in Singapore because every other shop or building is a restaurant and there are so very few grocery stores on the island.

Even when I was looking for room shares, there was a substantial amount of rooms that explicitly stated you aren’t allowed to cook in them.

Going out to eat (Or getting take out, as one of the first things you are asked at the counter of any restaurant is “Eat in? Or take out?”) is a very streamlined process. There are two types of places to eat.

The first is a “hawker” market, where generally there are a bunch of tables and chairs set up inside a large circle of food stations. Here you can go to anyone of these stations, order your food and then go sit down and they will deliver your food to your table. Eat all you want then get up and leave, they clear your table after you leave and the meal itself is generally under $5 SGD. That’s a pretty good freaking deal no matter where you are. And the food is good, actually really good and seeing as at every hawker market there are a ton of shops with a ton of different food items, you’d have to be inept to not find something you find palatable.

The second place to eat is a traditional restaurant, except here outside dining is pretty much standard. Although the restaurants cost a bit more than the hawker markets, you do have the option to eat in aircon. And they generally have smaller portions than the hawker stands do so you can get more than one dish to enjoy a whole bunch of flavors.

I personally have eaten out every day I have been here. (Except that one buffet debacle.) And I have not once had a bad meal, and considering that I really don’t know what I’m ordering 90% of the time that’s a pretty good success rate.

It’s a small world, after all.

I’ve made reference to Singapore’s conservative nature in the past, and I’m sure you have heard of the laws in place here against the evil chewing gum brands of the world.

This big push for conservative tendencies and for a squeaky clean international image naturally means that there are some strict laws and little, if any tolerance, for breaking those laws. To be honest I have never in my life felt safer than living here in Singapore, the city just seems so welcoming to good law abiding travelers.

You can even ask around Singapore, and in general no one has actually seen a crime being committed. Maybe everyone is just too tired from all the heat, or too full from all the food. I know I’m guilty on both accounts.

I’ve been told the most danger you could actually be in is a car accident of some kind. And that is even extremely unlikely due to the ridiculously high cost of buying and owning a car in Singapore. (Seriously this city has absolutely no traffic, it’s insane.) So in general if you are one of the few who has a car, or are a taxi driver, you take great pains NOT to crash it.

Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining about feeling safe here or the near complete absence of crime in Singapore, but I am more confused at how all this is accomplished. You see that little cardboard police officer I up there? That was the only law enforcement officer I saw for the first week I was here in Singapore. No joke.

Now if I really look I can see a group of two or three police officers in the MRT stations, but only during and after work when the stations are the most crowded. In America if someone wanted to make a place safe, generally I would expect them to try and put the most amount of man power into that area. Please correct me if you think this is wrong, but for example take any sporting event in the US, right on the sides of the field between the players and fans is a small army of police and security officers.

What I have noticed however is the vast amount of CCTVs everywhere you can think of. And then there are the ample amounts of security guards, at least a handful or so for any residential structure and teams within public shopping areas.

The best theory I can come up with is that the Singaporean government operates under the principle of “And when he prepares everywhere he will be weak everywhere.” by Sun Tzu. (That’s some knowledge right there; write that in your book report kids.) Meaning instead of putting innumerable officers out in the streets, why not have the CCTVs cover the city and respond en masse (I’m on a roll.) to the trouble. This way there isn’t the direct show of force by the police, more of an extreme threat of retaliation. Also having a criminal’s face on video tape is a lot more believable than a description by an officer that saw someone’s face.

Or it could just be that Singapore is in fact the real life inspiration for Disney World, the friendliest place on earth. It’s possible.

Food, finally

Buffet Dinner at Furama RiverFront, desserts.

So much sugar.

The buffet at Furama was one of my first meals here in Singapore, if you don’t count the airline food. (Congrats to Singapore Airlines actually, first meal on a plane that was good and had generous portion sizes, the free alcohol was a plus too.) So it might not have been the most “local” of foods but I was brand new in Singapore without a place to truly call my own. So the travel down to the dining room in the hotel was enough of an adventure for my first day. Call me a bad expat if you want, but trust me this food was delicious.

One of the first things you notice at the buffet is the amazing amount of nationalities represented in the cooking. Pretty much every Asian country had its own dish, along with some European course thrown in for those with picky palates.

This was my first first-hand example of how blended the cultural identity of Singapore really is; it truly is a hub for all APAC countries. I had seen the normal internet sites about how more than 40% of the workforce in Singapore were non-citizens. But to actually see it amazed me, and another little tidbit of information is that the unemployment rate in Singapore is constantly low, around 2% right now, so what 40% of the workforce being non-citizens really means is that nearly half of EVERYONE you see in Singapore is a non-citizen or expat for short.

What this creates is a multitude of different culinary desires by all these non-native peoples. Apparently going to Singapore is a one stop shop for Asian food, so be warned if you aren’t really a fan. But if you are then you hit the jackpot.

Okay back to the buffet.

As I said everything was fantastic, the flavors were better than anything I had in America. I thought it strange that there was so much egg involved in all the dishes but more on that later. But the most fan-freaking-tastic part of the meal was the desert station. As you can see it was massive, and this is only the part with the cakes. They had a separate section dedicated to pastries and to ice cream.

The weird thing was that as familiar as dessert is to Americans, these flavors were completely new to me. One ice cream flavor that comes to mind is the durian flavor. Which is a whole other experience in and of itself, I decided to man up and try some of the odorous ice cream. I’m glad I tried it just to say I survived but it wasn’t my cup of tea.

Beware the smell sticks to your tongue.

Evil, evil little robot boy.

I’m no fool, I knew coming to Asia that there would be significant cultural differences between my old life and what awaited me in Singapore. But nothing could have prepared me for this:

That right there is a demonic vampire Astro Boy, and he seems to be a little “too excited”.

I wasn’t ignorant to some of craziness of Asian culture, I had seen plenty of game shows from Japan and even been an avid anime fan as a child. (I’ll still watch a show of Pokemon given the chance, and think that The Last Airbender is one of the best shows to come out on Nickelodeon in a long, long time.) So I thought I was prepared for almost anything.

But given the conservative nature of Singapore I never would have thought that a poster like this would be around, at least not in public and certainly not in a major tourist hot spot. (One impression I have of Singapore so far is they take great pains to make the country look as good as possible, hence the no chewing gum laws)

I couldn’t get a picture of the whole poster but it was around a whole store, and on the other side it featured Kim Jong-il in shutter shades. So the entire thing was generally weird. So as it turns out the poster is for a Japanese beer company named Asahi, which is to be honest one of the best beers you can buy here in Singapore so maybe they have a little more leverage than the average advertiser.

I guess this is more of a cautionary tale in that you should always expect the unexpected and that although you might think a country is really strict, but everywhere has a little bit of a wild side.